Friday, December 5, 2008

Neil Sedaka Is SO Wrong

Remember, today is the start of Breakup Season (1st Friday in Dec – Feb 15th). In these times of economic turmoil, we all look for ways to cut back a little on our excess spending. That, my friends, is what the season is all about. Think of the savings – no Christmas presents, no expensive New Year’s Eve extravaganza, no Valentine’s Day* gifts! And that’s just the monetary aspect – we’ve all experienced the emotional strain of buying gifts, wondering if it’s just right (is it too much? not enough? Oh god what if he/she doesn’t like Dom Pérignon?). One slightly uncomfortable conversation, however, and you’ll feel the weight being lifted from your shoulders.

Don’t go overboard, of course. You’ll need to really be able to sell the “I’ve missed you so much” line come the ides of February. The tried and true “I never really knew what I had until I lost it” approach is classic, but there are many alternatives, and there’s really no right or wrong way to make up. Try to avoid allowing your significant other to set conditions, particularly ones that are objective and measurable, however. The goal is to get back to where you were December 4th, not “improve” your “outlook” and “behavior” for the “sake” of the “relationship”.

So break it off, kids! We’re over a week into Drinking Season, so you’ve had plenty of time to make it easy for him/her to accept it, or better yet, preempt it! See you in 72 days!

Well I got a bad liver and a broken heart,
Yeah, I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
And I don't have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can't
get a drink
And I wish you'd a-known her, we were quite a pair,
She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer

Tom Waits, Bad Liver And A Broken Heart

* Not actually having a girlfriend does not preclude you from telling the Victoria’s Secret salesperson that she’s the same size as your girlfriend and asking her to try that little lilac lace number on.

1 comment:

Sarah said...