With Friends Like These ...

I traveled to Salt Lake City over the Christmas weekend to visit family and some friends I haven’t seen in a long time. One of my friends recently became engaged, and I hadn’t met his fiancé yet, so we all went out to dinner. An actual snippet of the conversation:

Dead Acorn: Wow, New Fiancé, it’s very nice to meet you! Friend To Whom You Are Engaged is certainly dating up!

New Fiancé: Well, thank you! It’s nice to meet you too … I’ve sure heard a lot about you.

Other Friend 1: Doesn’t he look like that homeless guy
that hangs out on State and 400 North?

NF: Oh yeah … that guy’s hair isn’t as messy as The Dead Acorn’s, though.

Other Friend 2: The homeless guy dresses better than him, too.

DA: WTF? Shut up! You went out with me for 2 years!

Other Friend 2: Didn't you think it odd that all the gifts I bought you were clothes, and that I would dress you before we went out?

All except DA: (derisive laughter)

How I've avoided therapy thus far, I do not know.