Dead Acorn: Wow, New Fiancé, it’s very nice to meet you! Friend To Whom You Are Engaged is certainly dating up!
New Fiancé: Well, thank you! It’s nice to meet you too … I’ve sure heard a lot about you.
Other Friend 1: Doesn’t he look like that homeless guy
that hangs out on State and 400 North?
NF: Oh yeah … that guy’s hair isn’t as messy as The Dead Acorn’s, though.
Other Friend 2: The homeless guy dresses better than him, too.
DA: WTF? Shut up! You went out with me for 2 years!
Other Friend 2: Didn't you think it odd that all the gifts I bought you were clothes, and that I would dress you before we went out?
All except DA: (derisive laughter)
How I've avoided therapy thus far, I do not know.