Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Juuuuust A Bit Outside ...

I was asked last night how many days there were until pitchers and catchers reported to spring training. To my great and everlasting embarrassment, I did not know. Thanks to the all-powerful gizooglewebs, however, the information crisis has passed, and we now know that the answer is 72. Cleveland plays their first spring training game on March 5th, so there are only 87 days until the real action starts (by “real action,” of course, I mean Jake Westbrook re-injuring his arm).

Perhaps an even greater baseball-related embarrassment is that while I can’t even buy a date in this town, Bob Uecker has a stalker with a restraining order against her! This guy is a lifetime .200 hitter whose approach to catching a knuckleball was to wait until it stopped moving, then to walk over and pick it up. I know, I know … that’s just the ugly voice of jealousy blogging. The really weird thing, though, is that apparently the woman wasn’t even aware of his major league career until recently – according to the court order, she became obsessed with him over his Emmy-winning role on Mr. Belvedere. I can’t act, I can’t hit the curveball … no wonder he’s got all the crazy hotties wrapped up.

The winter meetings are on, and though no blockbuster transactions have yet been announced (I’m sure the Indians will acquire some minor league utility infielder for 25 lbs. of catfish and a bag of fungo balls), it’s good to have news of baseball to warm my heart during these frigid months.

You know, since Uecker has all the girls.

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