Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Play ball!

Well, once again it’s All-Star day in Major League Baseball. Kind of a silly and fun exhibition game, a light-hearted mid-season playground contest for a few players, a 3-day weekend for most. Well, that’s what it should be. Bud "calling me just a doofus is being too kind" Selig, during what must have been a personal audit of the contents of Josh Hamilton’s single-A locker in 2002, decided that home field advantage in the World Series should be decided by the outcome of the All-Star game. If I’m a Tampa Bay Devil Ray, I’d be a little chapped when Joakim Soria of Kansas City gives up a 3 run shot in the 8th. Of course, if I’m a Tampa Bay Devil Ray, the sun would be setting in the East, as past softball teammates will attest. No matter.

Anyway, the good news is that Cy Young Cliff Lee of the Indians will be the AL starter. It’s not looking like the All-Star game result will have any effect on Cleveland’s post-season, as there will likely be no such thing. Fat, drunk, and 13 games back at the break is no way to go through life, son. At least we’re rid of that deadweight clubhouse cancer Sabathia. Good luck with that, Brewers. It'll be amusing when he tries to chase down the racing sausages between innings.


N*88 said...

Wow, that's ironical, just yesterday someone described me as, fat, drunk and 13 days late.

N*88 said...

One more thing. Up until this season, I'd say you had a pretty good shot at being a Devil Ray. Could you imagine sweet Lou chewing your ass fevery time you showed for a game drunk. The first time you triied to stretch a marginal double into a triple, he'd just murder you right in the dugout

The Dead Acorn said...

Sweet Lou: "You #$!*# piece of $3%^&!"

The Dead Acorn: "But Lou ... you need to challenge the outfielders once in a while. A three error run is a home run in any little league in the country!"

Sweet Lou: "Jesus F#%*! $@!+%! That's Ichiro - he leads the league in outfield assists, you dumb-#$@!"

The Dead Acorn: "Uh, Lou? These pants just got washed. I'd appreciate it if you could refrain from kicking dirt on them."

Sweet Lou: "%#!#*&" (head explodes)