Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Ocean Doesn't Want Me Today

The little weekend getaway to Oregon ended up a success. Of course, by “success,” I mean “no one died.” That’s not to say that the effort wasn’t made.

I certainly won’t bore you with the mundane details of the trip; suffice it to say that there was beer and bourbon involved, both of which were contributing factors in the decision to walk down to the beach during a break in the storm (“a break in the storm” in this instance means “the rain was actually falling toward the ground rather than traveling horizontally”).

I’m fairly certain that Pat didn’t drink too much more than anyone else, so I’m really not sure what caused him to think he could wade to Japan, but for some reason, he started out toward the waves, which led to this scene (click to enlarge):

Above: I could have made it, if it weren't for that meddling Dead Acorn.

(Note: Due to my position as a high-security top-secret gubmint double-naught spy, I’ve chosen to obscure my face in the pictures – my head doesn’t really look like that.)

You can get a feel of how rough the ocean was in the next shot, but you should also note that Pat was still wearing his pajamas mid-afternoon (though just barely at this particular moment):

Above: We all had different ideas about what constituted appropriate attire for the conditions of the day. I obviously prefer fashion over function.

I should mention, at this point, that Pat is a professor of chemistry at The Ohio State University, which really underscores the independence of intelligence (in the academic sense) and everyday common sense. (Pat also coached the swim team for a short period, but was removed from that position after 3 athletes drowned in their first meet, despite the fact that they were wearing waterwings.)

Above: C'mon, big fella ... there's beer back at the house.

I've asked the other guys, and why, yes, we are available for rent!


Niamh B said...

I do hate it when drunk friends try to swim - especially when you're the soberest one, so it falls to you to nag them back out of the water.

FACT: Nagging is a special skill that can keep your feet dry while performing life saving work.

The Dead Acorn said...

I didn't mean to imply that I was the soberest one ... but yeah, swimming is one of the sillier things you can do while drunk. Driving, swimming, texting exes ... dangerous stuff.

David said...

As I took these pictures of the Dead Acorn and his compatriots, I was wondering to myself "why am I just standing here, how come I"m not helping?" My punishment came a few moments later on the form of a hail storm straight from the bowels of hell itself. Pain, oh the pain!