Can We Run The Video, Sal?

I’ve often written about my roomie here … the goofy dog with whom I share Casa de Acorn. To date, though, it’s been just that … simply writing (well, and the occasional photo). To truly appreciate just what a burden it is to try and coexist with her, though, really requires seeing her in her full live Indiocity. Since she’s not allowed to leave the country, however (it has to do with a failed, if ambitious, international diamond smuggling caper … the gag order prevents me from saying more than that), I’ve taken a little video of her so that my readers in the Congo can get a better idea of what I go through, day in and day out.


Above: She’s just not quite … right …

Let me point out a couple of things.

First, notice that she almost took off after I said “O.” I’ve lectured her time and time again on the dangers of making assumptions about what people are going to say, and trust me, it was a fluke that she stopped. Or maybe I was stepping on her tail. But for all she knew, I was going to say “O…..klahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain …” (I often burst out into musical numbers while shuffling about the house).

Second, it’s clear that I DID say “OK,” despite the brief inter-syllabic pause. The fact that she had forgotten the “O” part by the time I said “K” indicates to me that she has an attention span of less than a second. My god, there can’t be much more than rudimentary brain stem activity going on in that skull. I think that “breathe,” “eat,” and “literally bite the hand that feeds me” are about the extent of her functions. Not being able to avoid plowing into me upon her return is certainly evidence that there's not a lot of neural activity dedicated to motor skills.

Luckily, she’s got her undeniable beauty to get her through life.

Above: The Paris Hilton of the canine set.

I ask not for your pity, but perhaps now, when you see me sobbing softly in the corner of the pub, tears falling one-by-one from my cheek into my beer, you'll have a slightly greater sense of the world in which I reside.