Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I'm Being Stalked By A Stripper, But Not That Kind ...

I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve the ire of Stephan Pastis, but his attacks seem to be continuing. If you’ll recall, he belittled me personally in his comic strip Pearls Before Swine*, alleging that those who choose to exercise their first amendment rights via bumper stickers are “whack jobs.” I don’t know why he hates America.

Well, as my legions of readers know, the Grey Ghost is no more, so yeah, Pastis, I’m sure you’re happy that this constitution-loving whack-job’s vehicle is off the road. But apparently that’s not enough for you, is it? Hmm?

It’s quite obvious that he’s an on-line stalker … how else would he know about Jane F’Honda and my legendary ineptitude in matters of amore? In any case, today’s strip leaves no doubt whatsoever that I am the object of some sort of sick obsession:

Above: Introduction of an acorn character would be only slightly less subtle.

Even more disturbing is his knowledge of my fondness for sudoku. I don’t believe I’ve mentioned it here, which can only mean that he’s tracked me down at the local pub, where I’ll occasionally screw one up within minutes ponder over one, or even scarier, that he knows where I live and that I enjoy spending my weekend mornings with mimosas and the Statesman puzzles. Creepy.

Get help, Pastis. Seriously.

* As always, I would ask that you contact your local paper if they don’t run Pearls Before Swine, and ask them to start. The Statesman runs it through the week, but not on Sundays, so give some thought to an email requesting it. Best strip going … if you doubt it, check out the brilliance here.

7 comments:

Amanda said...

I wish to formally challenge you to a Sudoku-off.

The Dead Acorn said...

Oh, it's on. It. Is. ON.

Amanda said...

We are really doing this. Harry's. You. and. your. excessive. periods. are. toast.

The Dead Acorn said...

Any time, Miss "I'm so bound by the grammar and English Lit and Creative Writing classes that I've gone through that I have no real ability to go beyond what I've been taught and therefore could never use periods in such a way as to ACTUALLY. EXPRESS. HUMAN. EMOTION."

I know my ones, I know my nines, and I know everything in between.

Sweet jeebus, I can't believe I'm trying to talk sudoku smack. Good god, is this what it's come to?

Amanda said...

Whatever you say, PhD.

And if periods are indeed a useful tool for expressing emotions, it's weird that you have to resort to CAPSLOCK.

I know the Bears have abandoned hope. It's okay to resort to Sudoku.

carolina said...

Hello,
There is also an interesting sudoku site at www.domo-sudoku.com
Cheers

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