Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I'll Wafer You, I Promise ...

I wrote a while back on some changes that the New England Confectionery Company had made to the production of their delicious Necco Wafers.  Specifically, they had changed to all-natural flavoring and coloring, which was a bit upsetting, as the licorice ones were no longer as readily identifiable, and the lime ones were eliminated altogether.  I was livid!

On the drive down to Salt Lake City over the holidays, however, I was pleasantly surprised to find some of the old brightly colored ones in a gas station in Burley.  “How fortunate I am to live in a state where deliveries are so late that despised changes to product lines have no effect on inventory for years!” I thought to myself, as I bought all that they had.

As it turns out, even Burley gets updated shipments, and rather than being old stock, I discovered that the New England Confectionery Company had reverted to their old recipes due to faltering sales.  By this time, I had reconsidered my position on their change, and I was a little disappointed in their reversal.  I recently let them know my feelings on the matter:

Dear New England Confectionery Company:  I am writing to convey my disappointment in your 2011 decision to return to the use of artificial flavorings and colorings in your flagship product, the beloved Necco Wafer.  I will admit to being a bit distraught upon discovering the original change (documented at http://thedeadacorn.blogspot.com/2011/05/ill-wring-your-scrawny-little-necco.html).  Eventually, however, my rage transformed into respect as I realized that you were acting as Good Corporate Citizens, and taking the lead among confectioners in turning the industry into one more healthy and environmentally friendly.

“Kudos, New England Confectionery Company!  Kudos indeed!” I cried, after I got past my initial selfish resentment at not being able to easily recognize the vile licorice wafers.  “You are truly an admirable entity, and others would do well to emulate you!”

Unfortunately, your bold and brave actions did not stand the test of time, and it would appear that your decision to return to the artificiality of the past was driven by nothing more than profit motives.  This saddens me greatly, not only for my disappointment in finding that you lack the courage of your convictions, but for what I have discovered about myself; that I too am weak, as my craving for your wafers outweighs my concern for my health and for the planet, and I continue to consume them (except for the aforementioned vile licorice ones – those I give to my daughter, who will occasionally toss them in her mouth in a moment of inattention.  It’s quite amusing).

I hope that one day, you will again put goodness ahead of greed, and reverse your reversal.  Until then, I guess we’ll both sleep a little less soundly, aware that we’re not quite the person/confectionery company that we thought we were.


The Dead Acorn

I don’t expect a reply, as I’m sure they are rightfully embarrassed by the whole ordeal and just want it to go away.  Further, according to their Wikipedia article, the reversal was overwhelmingly popular.  It’s quite sad, really.

Our whole society has lost its moral candy compass.


The WxB said...

At least you can eat Necco wafers. Melodramatic SIGHHHHHHHH.

PS - I love the title.

The Dead Acorn said...

Did you read the Necco FAQ? I think you may be okay ...

There's GOT to be a wafer you to enjoy them as well!

Niamh B said...

Ah they're all about the money aren't they? Bet you're lovin the green colouring being back though - proven to cure sore head, buck tooth, bald coyote and gumption.

The Bug said...

I love everything about this post, especially the title of the previous Necco post - ha!