I assumed that the bike path would be empty, since, you know, what kind of idiot would be out at 6:00 am on a moonless night in -40 F (-40 C) weather? Einstein is often alleged to have said that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results, on a moonless night in -40 F (-40 C) weather,” and he was right more often than not (or so I’ve been told). Anyway, I wasn’t too concerned with encountering others, instead focusing on not screaming out in pain with every breath as my lungs cycled between icing up and thawing out.
I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to come across a killer ninja and his deadly kimodo dragon, which was the cause of near-heart attack #1. You may be thinking to yourself “umm, Dead Acorn, are you sure it wasn’t just a guy wearing dark clothes walking his black lab, as is quite common in that area?” Look, I know what I saw, okay? It was a goddamned ninja and his dragon.
Near-heart attack #2 happened a bit further up the path, when
Other than that, the ride was a success ... one of the reasons I elected to bike in was to test the shoe-cover/booty/foot-warmer thingies that I had purchased on Craigslist last year, and indeed, my little piggies were just as roasty-toasty as could be! The other reason is that the fan belt on my car makes a really loud banshee-esque screeching noise when it's this cold out, and my neighbors have made some surprisingly detailed threats about what will happen if I start it up at that hour one more time.
Mrs. Hamilton can be very intimidating for a nonagenarian.