Monday, August 24, 2009

Remain Calm! All Is Well!

Outside of a post about a Boise Hawks game, I haven’t really written anything about baseball this season. It’s not that I think there’s not a direct correlation between actions on my part and that of the performance of the Cleveland Indians, it’s just that I have been entertaining the notion that it’s an inverse relationship; that is, writing about them sort of jinxes them, much like blurting out “hey, look, Dead Acorn, your boy’s got a no-hitter going in the 7th!”

Clearly, I’m mistaken, and the reason for last season’s dismal performance was that I wasn’t writing enough. So, to that end, I’ve done a little analysis on what it will take to get the Tribe into the first World Series actually scheduled for November (thanks, WBC and Bud Selig, you jackasses):

First, let’s address their divisional rivals (as is perennially true, we can simply ignore the Kansas City Royals). Cleveland has 6 games remaining against both Detroit and Minnesota, and 3 against Chicago. It think it’s safe to say that we can expect records of 5-1, 5-1, and 2-1, respectively. Nothing controversial there.

That leaves the following number of games:

Cleveland: 24
Detroit: 33
Minnesota: 32
Chicago: 35

None of these teams are atrocious, of course, so let’s assume they’ll play at least .500 ball in those games. My projected records are Cleveland (18-6), Detroit (17-16), Minnesota (21-11), and Chicago (19-16). This will leave us with final standings of:

Cleveland 84-78
Detroit 83-79
Minnesota 83-79
Chicago 83-79

On to the post season!

Plenty of fans might look at a record of 54-69 on August 24th and be a bit pessimistic. With a little rational and reasonable analysis, however, it’s quite evident that the wigwammers will NOT be denied. Ah, the soothing power of data.

Go Tribe!

Above: Totally non-racist stereotypical mascot.


P77 said...

Your baseball logic makes me want to defend my team with a word like disiregardless. Go Twins!

The Dead Acorn said...

You can count on your "talent" and "ability to hit a baseball" all you you want, but my team has pure, raw, statistical inarguability on its side at this point. Your enthusiasm is kind of quaint, in that sad naive kind of way. The Tribe, in my analysis, cannot mathematically miss the playoffs.