I recently bought one of those child trailer thingies that hooks onto the back of a bicycle, for the express purpose of projecting the image of someone who is not uncomfortable around young children. I’ve all but given up on my goal of dating someone younger than my car (and no, I’m not going to buy a 1950s era Studebaker – that would be cheating (though the thought did cross my mind (triple nested parentheses – awesome))). I’m also going to rent P77’s youngster, who is as much of a chick magnet as any kid I’ve ever seen, when the weather finally gets its summer thing on and the park is teeming with wildlife. I’ve got to work on perfecting my delivery of "his mom died during childbirth," but I’ve still got time.
Ok, as I’m not entirely self-delusional, I realize that none of that’s ever going to happen, but I didn’t realize it until I’d already bought the carrier. It does add a bit to the white-trash décor that I’ve selected as my landscaping motif, as it doesn’t really fit in the garage all that well, but still, I thought it would be nice to actually use it for something. I tried putting the demon-dog in it and towing her, but she would have no part of it and immediately ripped through the duct tape and ran (pausing only to give me a quick nip on the calf).
Then it struck me … in the shin, as it kind of got spun around as the dog bolted. But it also occurred to me that this would be perfect for those trips to the grocery store. I’ve been meaning to shop less at the oversized convenience store masquerading as a neighborhood market (but that’s about 5 blocks away), and more at Winco, which is closer to 3 miles away, but way cheaper, and just seems like a better place to shop, but is of a distance that led me to drive if I needed anything heavier that a bag of radishes.
So yesterday I made the first jaunt. It was a nice ride over – a bit of a headwind, and a few raindrops, but all in all, very pleasant. The ride back was a little different. It wasn’t what you’d call hot outside, but it was certainly above freezing, making it a frantic race against time to save the Skinny Cows! I fought wind, fought rain, Fort Dix … and by the grace of Mabel The Milk Cow, the ice cream hadn’t melted by the time I got back home, and is now safely in my freezer.
I know that there will come a hot summer day when I’m not so successful. But now I have something to ride more for, to get in shape for … to stave off that day as long as possible. Damn you, Mr. Sun! I can’t fight you forever, but I won’t just lay down and give up. Much as Schindler couldn’t save all the Jews, he saved all that he could, and I, remembering his heroism and valiant efforts, will be just as passionate and relentless in my battle to save as many Skinny Cows as I possible can. I'll see you in hell, old Sol.
4 months ago