There have been some strange goings on lately around Casa de Acorn. I walked out of the house the other morning to find this li’l speedster on my driveway:
He was over a foot across, and he certainly had some attitude about him, as you can see from his expression. My first thought was that I was suspected of being a replicant and that this was one of the tests:
Dead Acorn: "I've never seen a turtle... But I understand what you mean."Luckily, he had a
Holden: "You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Dead Acorn."
Dead Acorn: "Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden? Or do they write 'em down for you?"
Holden: "The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping."
Dead Acorn: [angry at the suggestion] "What do you mean, I'm not helping?"
Holden: "I mean: you're not helping! Why is that, Dead Acorn?"
I’ve also been trying to get a little work done in the
… when I discover this:
I assume that the seeds blew over from the neighbor’s yard, because I’ve certainly made no efforts at active cultivation. There’s just the one cherry tomato, about an inch in diameter, having grown with absolutely no water or care of any sort. I’m not a fan of tomatoes, but I think I’ll squish it into ketchup. The corn dog that has the honor of bearing it will be one proud Pronto Pup, I’m certain.
Lastly, I believe I’ve mentioned that The Live Acorn has secured gainful employment, which, as it turned out, was excellent in terms of timing, as she was able to use her first paycheck to pay a fine for her jaywalking ticket, which she received as she was trying to goad her friends into crossing against the light as well. We had the following text message exchange:
Dead Acorn: “Way to go, outlaw.”Other than things like this, life is normal. Not sure if that’s good or bad.
Live Acorn: “Yeah, I’m a badass. How many times have you jaywalked?”
Dead Acorn: “Jaywalked? Thousands. Ticketed? Zero. I generally try to not make a show of it.”
Live Acorn: “Dad, it was a motorcycle cop! I couldn’t even see him!”
Dead Acorn: “You should tolly plead not guilty. The judge will buy that, I’m sure.”
Live Acorn: “Shut up.”