Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A Bloody Mess

“2 weeks ago,” reads the line beneath my blog name on other blogs kind enough to include me in their blogroll. Two goddamn weeks.

O, that I were able to fill this post with a fortnight's worth of tales of daring-do, of adventure and excitement, of journeys to far-off lands on missions of mercy, but sadly, empty have been the days and dark the nights, a longing for the renewal of spring denied by the incessant rains and bone-chilling cold, with all-too-brief respites of sunshine serving only to aggravate my yearnings and intensify my aches ...

So yeah, I got nothin’.

I’ll relate an actual conversation that took place between me and The Live Acorn the other day while I try to make up some stuff that would be interesting were it really to have happened:

Dead Acorn: You know, Live Acorn, the intellectual black hole that is the Idaho Legislature actually got something good done this past session.

Live Acorn: Oh yeah? (rolls eyes; thought balloon with “Jesus Christ, why can’t he shut up?” visible above her head)

Dead Acorn:
Yep ... they lowered the age at which a person can donate blood from 18 to 16, with parental consent, of course.

Live Acorn: Neato. (thought balloon now reading “maybe I can just walk the last 8 miles to volleyball practice ...”)

Dead Acorn: Yes indeedy ... it goes into effect on July 1st, the beginning of the fiscal year.

Live Acorn:
This is quite the informative ride, father. Thank you for the information.

Dead Acorn: So it will be in place when you turn 16 in the middle of July, and I’ve scheduled appointments for both of us on your birthday!

Live Acorn:
NO NO NO OH GOD NO NO DAD NO I NEED MY BLOOD I NEED ALL OF MY BLOOD NONONONONONO ...

And I thought I was a sissy.

3 comments:

Niamh B said...

Gives you hope for the future, the youth of today!

Jonny Hamachi said...

That's not how it played out over on the Live Acorn's blahg.

The Dead Acorn said...

Niamh B - only 20 more years 'til she can run for President! (I'd better find her birth certificate, I guess.)

JH - she makes stuff up. Half of her lies about me aren't even CLOSE to true.