Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Sh*t Don't Even RHYME!

[UPDATE:] I've been told by an actual poet that it needed a title ...

a short poem of longing

i see your face when the moon rises high in the night sky
i feel your embrace when the warmth of the sun washes over me
i hear your voice whispering in my ear when the birds sing as daylight breaks
i see your eyes sparkle as the stars shimmer in the heavens
i feel your fingers on my back when the autumn winds bring a chill

i sense you at my side when I am alone

oh, that I knew who you were ...


But I did use all lowercase, at least.

8 comments:

Niamh B said...

ah it needs a title, good stuff though!!

The Dead Acorn said...

Well thanks! I'm not sure about a title ..."A Poem Which Attempts To Dissuade You From Buying Into The Idea That There's 'One Special Person' Out There When, With 3.5 Billion Possibilities, It's Extremely Unlikely That You'll Find Her" seems a bit burdensome. Maybe "A Short Poem Of Longing", or "Jabberwocky".

Niamh B said...

"a short poem of longing" would be perfect - note: NO CAPS IN THE TITLE EITHER!! that's if you wanna be hardcore.

It's really a nice piece though - lovely images, and the ending is great.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you just call it "Nostalgia for a Lover?" Why bother with that half ass shit? If you are going to be a plagerist, by all means, go all the way!

FYI readers - I wrote a poem with mysteriously similiar language to what Acorn has written in this post. Luckily, I published it some time ago and it is copywrited.

Hmm..I wonder...should I sue? Acorn's house might actually be ok...after it under goes a good dusting, sweeping, mopping, disinfecting, fumigation, and...what was the other thing? Oh yeah and an exorcism!

PS

My actual poem, as posted on my blog over two years ago, was MUCH better than this late night incident of pathetic drunken lagerism. Oh and by the way, loser - er - Acorn, rhyme isn't a 'requirement' for poetry.

Anonymous said...

Drunken PLAGERISM, rather.

The Dead Acorn said...

"plagiarism".

As I haven't read your poem, maybe you could leave the URL for your blog, or a link to the publication.

Anonymous said...

Dude, whatever. You DID read my poem, you liar. I gave you a f*cking copy of it, and I have an e-mail from you complimenting me on my talent. As for the publication, you're not getting one. I've saved the autographed first editions for the few people in my life that deserve them.

Anonymous said...

PS

Is this how you got your PHD? Stealing the work of others? How pathetic!