Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My Pop - World's Greatest Mouser

Interesting times last night around Casa de Acorn. The Live Acorn has a new kitten, who apparently followed her home she found in a gutter last weekend while babysitting (the kitten was in the gutter – the gutter was not the locale of the babysitting gig). She (the kitten) is very small and very cute (though those adjectives, at least “very cute”, also apply to the Live Acorn), as kittens, much like beagles, must be, so that people will feed them despite knowing full well that they (the animals in question, not the people) will grow up to be standoffish buttheads (in the case of kittens) or house-destroying idiots (in the case of beagles).

I’ll allow you a moment to parse that sentence, if that’s even possible. Me no take writing class.

Yesterday evening was the introduction of the kitten to the demon dog who keeps finding her way back to my house from the desert. Four ounces of furry fuzz vs. 80 lbs of hungry hound. I promise I will get good quality pictures up soon, but I only had the cell phone camera last night – however, here’s an image of what must have been Indy’s perception:

Above: Let's be friends, little puppy!

That dog spent a lot of time in the backyard last night.

The Live Acorn, the kitten, and I had the inaugural dinner on the new kitchen arch countertop (pics soon), which consisted of bbq teriyaki chicken burgers and salad with Buddy’s dressing*, which is by far the world’s best.

Soon after supping, we headed back up to the EMDAMOTLA’s** house, as the Live Acorn had not slept since school let out 5 days ago, and she is battling a nasty chest cold. The kitten was exploring the dangerous yet irresistible jungle that is the interior of my car.

A conversation as we were driving:

Live Acorn: (sniffing) Father, I believe the kitten has shat ‘neath my seat.

Ok, that’s not quite right.

Live Acorn: (sniffing) HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD (cough cough cough) SHE HAHAHA SHE TOOK (cough cough cough) HAHAHAHAHA SHE TOOK A DUMP! (cough hack hack) HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD HAHAHA (hack cough lung-toss) HAHAHAHAHA


Live Acorn: HAHAHAHAHAHA (cough hack cough) HAHAHAHAHAHA

Dead Acorn: You are SO cleaning this car out!


Dead Acorn: I’m serious! I’m not helping!

Live Acorn: HAHAHahahahaheehehehe (cough cough) heee heee (finally settling down)

Live Acorn: You know, this car is really a mess anyw …

Dead Acorn: NO NO NO! You are CLEANING IT! BY YOURSELF!!111!

Live Acorn: (losing it again) HAHAHAHAHAHA (cough hack)

Stupid-ass cat.

* The inaugural dinner consisted of those items. The new kitchen arch countertop consisted of, and indeed, remains consisting of, wood.

** Ex Mrs. Dead Acorn, Mother Of The Live Acorn


Anonymous said...

Cats and Beagles are only seem
stand-offish to needy people, whom they consider to be buttheads.

That was a funny post!

Anonymous said...

Apparently, me take no writing class neither!

Lori said...

I am writing to protest the description of adult cats as standoffish buttheads or whatever ... Just because Wishy wasn't the friendlist cat on the planet doesn't mean you can issue sweeping generalizations about all of them. For example, have you no recollection of Tiger?!? There's a good picture in the scrapbook of you asleep on the couch at home (not very distinguished) with Tiger sleeping right next to you (very cute and distinguished. Anyway, what the hell is the kitten's name?