Thursday, February 19, 2009

Not Even ONCE!

I like those meth commercials (okay, maybe they're anti-meth commercials) with the "not even once" punchline. I certainly hope they're successful, as I'm fairly certain that meth is a bad thing. On the other hand, maybe I'm really susceptible to advertising, and meth is a really good thing, but some advertising agency hired by the anti-meth lobbyists have done a great job at convincing me that it's bad!

I have GOT to stop second-guessing my beliefs.

As an aside, the first one I saw was the one with the teen girl in the shower, where she looks down and sees blood flowing into the drain. My first thought was "why, that's not Sissy Spacek!", and my second, after realizing how stupid my first thought was, was "Hmmm ... is this National Menarche Preparedness & Education Month? 'Cause I thought this was taken care of in gym class."

Anyway, the ads are pretty scary, and I really hope that they're effective. Because I know. I know how bad it can be. Oh god, I know. And I actually think I have something a little more real, a little more hard-hitting, than some footage of abstract possibilities of hanging in an alley with pock-marked hos laughing at you.

I tried meth for the first time last week.

Now I'm a person with a little self confidence. Not very much, not like the kind that would make me think that a girl would actually like me, but enough to think that a drug couldn't control me.

Yeah.

Within 10 minutes, I started tearing out the walls ...


ZOMG! .. it felt so good ... just raw anger and destruction .. that fucking wall had been holding me back my whole life ... I just wanted to rip it apart ...


But then I started thinking wierd things about being ... ummm, like a mole, or something, and the whole thing seemed liked a real-life game of Dig-Dug ...


Well, since I'd lost all my mad Dig-Dug skillz, due to time and the meth, I just tore out the whole fucking wall ...


I'm done. Never again. Even back in the PCP days, when they said "OMG you'll think you can fly and kill yourself!", it wasn't this bad, because I took it once and I really COULD fly. Granted, I took it in the airport on the way to Houston, and actually DID fly, but still. I didn't grab a crowbar and tear out any walls.

So kids! Don't do meth! Angel dust in an airport ... okay. Blogging drunk ... okay. Meth .. BAD!

Just to sort of get back to that bloody pock-marked approach of the TV ads ...

Yes, you will bleed out of places you're not supposed to bleed, and you will pick at them.



NOT. EVEN. ONCE.

2 comments:

Pick-a-lilly said...

Are you just having drunken rages, or are you actually trying to remodel your house?

The Dead Acorn said...

Like those are mutually exclusive. Most of my remodeling projects actually begin with drunken rages. So yes, when I woke up from my meth-driven whisky binge in a pool of my own vomit in my kitchen and saw that the wall was gone, I thought to myself "say, you know what would look nice there? An arched window into the living room!"

Pictures coming soon of the finished arch. Well, as finished as any of my projects ever get.