Nary A Cross Word Between Lovers

I have a strong affection for the daily crossword puzzle that’s printed in the local newspaper. There’s definitely a risk/reward aspect to doing them; as the week progresses, so does the difficulty of the puzzle. So while completing a Sunday puzzle feels as good as finally slipping into that narcotic-induced numbness that brings sweet respite from the brutal reality of one's workaday life, failure on a Monday brings a shame no less than that of crawling back, once again, to Monique, the cross-dressing dominatrix who always seems to “forget” one's safeword.

I particularly enjoy the ones with a theme. In these, a number of the longer clues have to do with a similar topic, or make up a famous quotation, or are exemplars of a bad, but admirably formulaic, play on words … something along those lines.

Today’s was such a puzzle, and the theme was so brilliant that I feel I have to mention it here:

(spoiler alert for those who haven’t done the puzzle yet …)

Songs Of Love.

Yep, all of the thematically-related answers were song titles that contained the word love. ZOMG HOW SWEET AND ROMANTIC! Now, as you may have noticed, I’ve written a few angsty and emo posts in my time, and I certainly can’t deny having gone over the top once or twice when the moon was full and I had left the door to the freezer that I keep my heart in wide open. On the other hand, I wrote that crap* on an obscure blog, not in a crossword that millions of people are going to see.

The answers:

• She Loves You


• Love Stinks


• No More I Love Yous


• Bye Bye Love


• I’m Not In Love

I really, really want to know the story behind the crossword author and the object of his/her affections completely rational response to whatever the monster did to break his/her heart complex emotions. At the very least, I'm hoping that we see this turn a little more aggressive and that the paper has to print some type of "Certain Answers Are Not Suitable For Children Or Faint-Hearted Crossworders" warning over the next few days. You know, clues like "Female Dog In The Act Of Making Love" ... that sort of thing.

I think the broken-hearted have a new patron saint.

* "crap" is a descriptor of my writings, not of the crossword puzzle.