There seems to be something of a brou-ha-ha in the sports world over the behavior of the Canadian women’s hockey team after their victory over Team USA in the gold medal game – apparently, they had the audacity to return to the ice an hour after the ceremony and drink beer and champagne and smoke cigars in celebration. One of them even RODE THE ZAMBONI!* The IOC has stated that they will conduct an investigation into the whole affair (seriously).
Some evidence of the shocking shenanigans:
Above: "These are American? Really? They make cigars better than they skate, eh? That's good shit."
Above: The IOC should investigate that choice of "beer."
Above: Overheard in the stands: "They are SO gonna make out later."
I, for one, wholeheartedly agree that such actions were entirely inappropriate, and would suggest that our neighbors to the north look to another USA sports team for an example of what type of behavior constitutes healthy and sportswomenlike celebratory conduct:
Above: Tearing off a hockey sweater and pads might take a little more time, but we'll wait.
Marie-Philip Poulin is 18**, by the way, so I think that makes me simply lecherous, not felonious.
I certainly hope that all the prissy males with sticks up their asses who are so upset about this had fainting couches nearby, and pearls to clutch. Lighten up, douchebags.
** The legal drinking age in Canada is 19, but I started drinking 6 years before I could do so legally, so in the grand scheme, aren't we really making progress? [Update]: The legal age in British Columbia is 19; in Alberta, where they train, it's 18. It's all a murky grey area ... why do people have to judge our love based on age?***
*** Love of beer, not each other. Though if Marie-Philip wants to email me, that's fine, too.
4 weeks ago